N\u00eb rrjedh\u00ebn e pandalshme t\u00eb jet\u00ebs njer\u00ebzore, miq\u00ebsit\u00eb, shoq\u00ebrit\u00eb apo dashurit\u00eb shpesh perceptohen si di\u00e7ka q\u00eb na p\u00ebrket dhe q\u00eb do t\u00eb mbetet e pandryshuar pavar\u00ebsisht koh\u00ebs, rritjes apo sjelljeve tona. Kjo lloj sigurie, q\u00eb shpesh nuk analizohet, \u00ebsht\u00eb kultivuar deri diku nga shoq\u00ebria ku jetojm\u00eb. Ajo na ka m\u00ebsuar t\u00eb kemi zemrat m\u00eb t\u00eb m\u00ebdha se plag\u00ebt tona!
\nNatyrsh\u00ebm lind pyetja se \u00e7far\u00eb e justifikon k\u00ebt\u00eb siguri? A \u00ebsht\u00eb produkt i reciprocitetit t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb apo form\u00eb e kamufluar e egoizmit ton\u00eb?<\/p>\n
Njeriu ka prirjen t\u00eb mb\u00ebshtetet tek t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt p\u00ebr ndjenj\u00ebn e p\u00ebrkat\u00ebsis\u00eb dhe vazhdim\u00ebsis\u00eb, N\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb kuptim, nj\u00eb mike, shoqe apo partnere perceptohet si nj\u00eb element konstant i ekzistenc\u00ebs son\u00eb ndaj kemi prirjen drejt shoq\u00ebrizimit i cili presupozohet t\u00eb frymoj\u00eb mbi reciprocitetin. N\u00eb \u00e7astin q\u00eb mardh\u00ebniet e krijuara mes mikesh, shoqesh apo partner\u00ebsh i marrim t\u00eb mir\u00ebqena, biem n\u00eb qasje t\u00eb nj\u00ebanshme, t\u00eb interesuar p\u00ebr pritshm\u00ebrit\u00eb tona. Kjo ndodh si prej egoizmit e n\u00ebnvler\u00ebsimit, ashtu edhe prej mosnjohjes s\u00eb vehtes a personalitetit t\u00eb dyfisht\u00eb tek disa syresh. Kjo ndodh kur mendojm\u00eb se gatishm\u00ebria njer\u00ebzore n\u00eb kujdes e p\u00ebrkushtim na p\u00ebrket si lider vlerash. Me dashje apo pa e shnd\u00ebrrojm\u00eb sigurin\u00eb e marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnies n\u00eb iluzion q\u00eb zgjat deri n\u00eb momentin kur vet\u00ebdija p\u00ebr brisht\u00ebsin\u00eb e tyre na godet me forc\u00eb.<\/p>\n
Por, a kan\u00eb qen\u00eb ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb reale k\u00ebto marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnie p\u00ebrderisa arrijn\u00eb pik\u00ebn e humbjes apo zvarritjes? Kjo q\u00ebndron si dilem\u00eb morale dhe ekzistenciale. Si individ\u00eb t\u00eb prirur ndaj vet\u00ebk\u00ebnaq\u00ebsis\u00eb dhe harres\u00ebs nuk kultivojm\u00eb nj\u00eb nd\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsim m\u00eb t\u00eb madh p\u00ebr vler\u00ebn ton\u00eb jasht\u00eb k\u00ebtyre mardh\u00ebnieve. As nuk kuptojm\u00eb se ndjenja e dor\u00ebzimit ndaj nj\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnieje n\u00eb dukje \u201cperfekte\u201d duhet t\u00eb ngacmoj\u00eb e ndez\u00eb mekanizma psikologjik\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00eb me antitrupat p\u00ebr t\u00eb neutralizuar n\u00eb mendje\u201c virusin e zvarritjes\u201d
\nMarr\u00ebdh\u00ebnie n\u00eb dukje ideale, na b\u00ebjn\u00eb q\u00eb shpesh t\u00eb heqim dor\u00eb nga shum\u00eb pjes\u00eb t\u00eb vetes si liria, shpengimi, rebelizmi, madje dhe vet\u00ebbesimi, duke i shnd\u00ebrruar n\u00eb nj\u00eb gar\u00eb me vehten p\u00ebr ta mbrojtur nga humbja. N\u00eb thelb, ky \u00ebsht\u00eb iluzioni. Sakrifikojm\u00eb veten p\u00ebr nj\u00eb siguri q\u00eb n\u00eb fakt nuk ekziston por e fantazon frika. Marr\u00ebdh\u00ebniet e nd\u00ebrtuara mbi frik\u00ebn e humbjes jan\u00eb forma t\u00eb var\u00ebsis\u00eb emocionale. Ne dor\u00ebzohemi, pranojm\u00eb m\u00eb pak sesa meritojm\u00eb, duke u transformuar n\u00eb nj\u00eb version t\u00eb deformuar karakterial t\u00eb vetvetes. Kur arrijm\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb pik\u00eb, shpesh nuk e p\u00eblqejm\u00eb m\u00eb veten ton\u00eb, duke u bllokuar edhe n\u00eb rrug\u00ebdalje.
\nMiqt\u00eb, shok\u00ebt apo partner\u00ebt q\u00eb na b\u00ebjn\u00eb t\u00eb ndiejm\u00eb se vet\u00ebm ata mund t\u00eb na japin plot\u00ebsin\u00eb e vetes shnd\u00ebrrohen nga bekim n\u00eb penges\u00eb p\u00ebr rritjen.
\nPse \u00ebsht\u00eb kaq e v\u00ebshtir\u00eb t\u00eb shp\u00ebtojm\u00eb prej mardh\u00ebnieve tilla?
\n – Var\u00ebsia emocionale:
\nKemi dor\u00ebzuar veten tek t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt si burimin kryesor t\u00eb lumturis\u00eb son\u00eb.
\n -Frika nga boshll\u00ebku
\n– Besimi i tepruar q\u00eb mund t\u00eb rezultoj\u00eb shantazhues<\/p>\n
Ti ke ekzistuar dhe do t\u00eb ekzistoje n\u00ebse nuk do t\u00eb manipuloje vehten.
\nMarrdh\u00ebnia m\u00eb e r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme q\u00eb kemi n\u00eb jet\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb ajo me veten. N\u00ebse ndiejm\u00eb se jemi shnd\u00ebrruar n\u00eb dik\u00eb q\u00eb nuk e duam por as e njohim m\u00eb, kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb prangosja me e r\u00ebnd\u00eb e rritjes son\u00eb. Shum\u00eb njer\u00ebz nuk duan liri, parap\u00eblqejn\u00eb n\u00ebnshtrimin nga autoriteti i nj\u00eb individi nj\u00ebjt\u00eb si ajo nga nj\u00eb strukture si nj\u00eb lloj \u201csadomazokizmi\u201dmendor q\u00eb i jep k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsi e lumturi n\u00ebp\u00ebrmjet dhembjes. At\u00ebher\u00eb ky individ edhe n\u00ebse i shp\u00ebton nj\u00ebr\u00ebs mardh\u00ebnie ka gjasa q\u00eb gjith\u00eb jet\u00ebn t\u00eb ndertoj\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00eb gj\u00eb.
\nSi\u00e7 ka individ\u00eb q\u00eb b\u00ebjn\u00eb beteja t\u00eb vazhdueshme mes logjik\u00ebs e emocionit, argumentojn\u00eb qart\u00eb rrug\u00ebn e duhur por i mungon forca.
\nShohim p\u00ebrsosjen n\u00eb pap\u00ebrsosje mardh\u00ebniesh!<\/p>\n
\u201cAsgj\u00eb nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb e rrezikshme se miqt\u00eb q\u00eb ndihen t\u00eb sigurt n\u00eb vendin e tyre,- thot\u00eb Baltasar Graci\u00e1n
\nN\u00eb shum\u00eb raste, trajtimi si \u201cprani e garantuar\u201d nuk vjen nga nj\u00eb person i vet\u00ebm, por nga nj\u00eb dinamik\u00eb m\u00eb e gjer\u00eb shoq\u00ebrore. Disa na mbajn\u00eb pran\u00eb \u201csi barn\u00eb\u201dsepse jan\u00eb t\u00eb l\u00ebnduar diku tjet\u00ebr, disa si \u201crrezik\u201d q\u00eb duhet mbajt n\u00ebn kontroll, disa si m\u00ebshire, apo vrarje nd\u00ebrgjegjeje e disa prej naivitetit ton\u00eb. N\u00eb \u00e7astin q\u00eb siguria diku tjet\u00ebr sfunon gjitha k\u00ebto, menefregizmi institucionalizohet. Madje faturohesh edhe nga pjesa e fajit p\u00ebr shkak t\u00eb:
\n1- Vet\u00ebmbrojtjes a vetjustifikimit
\nNjeriu, thuhet nga psikolog\u00eb t\u00eb njohur, ka nj\u00eb mekaniz\u00ebm t\u00eb lindur mbrojt\u00ebs q\u00eb e ndihmon t\u00eb shmang\u00eb dhembjen e vet\u00ebpranimit. –
\n2- Barr\u00ebs s\u00eb reciprocitetit
\n3- Egocentrizmit dhe ndjenj\u00ebs s\u00eb viktimizimit<\/p>\n
Shpesh njer\u00ebzit ju trajtojn\u00eb pik\u00ebrisht ashtu si\u00e7 ata kan\u00eb \u201c precipituar\u201d nga mungesat e tyre, por kjo nuk duhet t\u00eb na b\u00ebj\u00eb t\u2019i justifikojm\u00eb. Thjesht duhet t\u00eb ndalojm\u00eb s\u00eb qeni naiv, apo s\u00eb pranuari modelet si rast\u00ebsi. Kur nj\u00eb mardh\u00ebnie njer\u00ebzore ju tregon kufijt\u00eb, besojeni at\u00eb . Reciprociteti nuk do tju b\u00ebnte kurr\u00eb t\u00eb pyesni veten se ku e keni vendin\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
N\u00eb rrjedh\u00ebn e pandalshme t\u00eb jet\u00ebs njer\u00ebzore, miq\u00ebsit\u00eb, shoq\u00ebrit\u00eb apo dashurit\u00eb shpesh perceptohen si di\u00e7ka q\u00eb na p\u00ebrket dhe q\u00eb do t\u00eb mbetet e pandryshuar pavar\u00ebsisht koh\u00ebs, rritjes apo sjelljeve tona. Kjo lloj sigurie, q\u00eb shpesh nuk analizohet, \u00ebsht\u00eb kultivuar deri diku nga shoq\u00ebria ku jetojm\u00eb. Ajo na ka m\u00ebsuar t\u00eb kemi zemrat m\u00eb t\u00eb […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":88081,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-88080","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-te-tjera"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/neutrale.al\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/88080","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/neutrale.al\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/neutrale.al\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neutrale.al\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neutrale.al\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=88080"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/neutrale.al\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/88080\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":88082,"href":"https:\/\/neutrale.al\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/88080\/revisions\/88082"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neutrale.al\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/88081"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/neutrale.al\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=88080"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neutrale.al\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=88080"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neutrale.al\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=88080"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}