‘Ke nevoj\u00eb p\u00ebr mjekim dhe terapi!’ Njer\u00ebzit aseksual\u00eb jan\u00eb ende subjekt i paragjykimeve. Lennart dhe Akaya po ndjekin rrug\u00ebn e tyre.<\/p>\n
Lennart ec\u00ebn n\u00ebp\u00ebr Reeperbahn t\u00eb Hamburgut, nj\u00eb rrug\u00eb p\u00ebr festime. Rreth tij: dyqane seksi, kinema pornografike, sht\u00ebpi publike. P\u00ebrgjat\u00eb rrug\u00ebs ai shikon gjinj t\u00eb m\u00ebdhenj dhe t\u00eb pasme t\u00eb sh\u00ebndosha. Por 38-vje\u00e7arit me syze dhe me nj\u00eb buz\u00ebqeshje t\u00eb ngurt\u00eb nuk i b\u00ebn p\u00ebrshtypje kjo. Ai \u00ebsht\u00eb aseksual. “Kur i shikoj, nuk mendoj, ah shiko ato gjinj do t’i prekja. P\u00ebr mua, ky \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb billboard me reklama t\u00eb k\u00ebqija, gj\u00ebra q\u00eb nuk i kuptoj.”<\/p>\n
Q\u00eb n\u00eb pubertet ai vuri re se ishte ndryshe nga t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt. Kur shok\u00ebt e tij t\u00eb klas\u00ebs filluan t\u00eb interesoheshin p\u00ebr seksin, ai nuk e kuptoi se p\u00ebr \u00e7far\u00eb b\u00ebhej gjith\u00eb ajo zhurm\u00eb. Por edhe ai donte t\u00eb provonte seksin dhe e b\u00ebri –\u00a0 me nj\u00eb rezultat shum\u00eb t\u00eb qart\u00eb: “Po, e pash q\u00eb mund t\u00eb b\u00ebhet dhe nuk u neverita me t\u00eb. Por kjo gj\u00eb nuk m\u00eb intereson dhe m\u00eb mir\u00eb t\u00eb mos e b\u00ebj”.
\nAs Akaya nuk ka mundur ta shijoj\u00eb kurr\u00eb seksin. 22-vje\u00e7arja me flok\u00eb t\u00eb kuqe t\u00eb shkurt\u00ebra, \u00ebsht\u00eb rritur pran\u00eb Bielefeld n\u00eb landin Renania Veriore Vestfalia. Rreth familjes s\u00eb saj, n\u00eb nj\u00eb zon\u00eb rurale, kishte vet\u00ebm \u00e7ifte heteroseksuale. Kur ajo adresoi munges\u00ebn e d\u00ebshir\u00ebs s\u00eb saj p\u00ebr t\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb seks, nga miqt\u00eb dhe familjar\u00ebt merrte gjithmon\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn p\u00ebrgjigje: “Thjesht duhet t\u00eb gjesh partnerin e duhur. Pastaj, kur ta doni v\u00ebrtet nj\u00ebri-tjetrin, do t\u00eb shijoni edhe intimitetin.’<\/p>\n
Ajo e b\u00ebri k\u00ebt\u00eb – p\u00ebr shkak t\u00eb presionit social. Kishte partner\u00eb t\u00eb ndrysh\u00ebm vazhdimisht, me shpres\u00eb se nj\u00eb dit\u00eb do ta gjej\u00eb t\u00eb duhurin. Por nuk e gjeti. Kur ishte n\u00eb shkoll\u00eb t\u00eb mesme, ajo u p\u00ebrball me tem\u00ebn e aseksualitetit, dhe k\u00ebtu e gjeni veten menj\u00ebher\u00eb. “N\u00eb at\u00eb moment kuptova: Nuk kam pse t\u00eb gjej personin e duhur. \u00cbsht\u00eb n\u00eb rregull q\u00eb nuk m\u00eb p\u00eblqen seksi dhe nuk kam nevoj\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb”.<\/p>\n
\u00c7far\u00eb do t\u00eb thot\u00eb aseksualitet?<\/p>\n
N\u00eb studime t\u00eb ndryshme thuhet se midis 0.5 deri n\u00eb 5 p\u00ebrqind e popullsis\u00eb gjermane jan\u00eb aseksual\u00eb. Ata tregojn\u00eb pak ose aspak d\u00ebshir\u00eb p\u00ebr seks. Meqen\u00ebse aseksualiteti \u00ebsht\u00eb pak i hulumtuar dhe kryesisht i panjohur n\u00eb shum\u00eb qarqe, numri i rasteve t\u00eb paraportuara mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb shum\u00eb m\u00eb i lart\u00eb. Ashtu si Akaya dhe Lennarti, shum\u00eb aseksual\u00eb jetojn\u00eb me ndjenjat e t\u00eb qenit t\u00eb ndrysh\u00ebm apo edhe t\u00eb ‘gabuar’ p\u00ebr vite me rradh\u00eb, pa i kuptuar si duhet ndjenjat e tyre.
\nMjedisi shpesh reagon me moskuptim. Nga jasht\u00eb, aseksualiteti shpesh ngat\u00ebrrohet me beqarin\u00eb ose me humbjen e libidos, por kjo nuk ka t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb fare me t\u00eb, thot\u00eb Prof. Johannes Fuss, drejtor i Institutit p\u00ebr Psikiatrin\u00eb Forenzike dhe K\u00ebrkimet e Seksit n\u00eb Universitetin e Duisburg-Essen. “Aseksualiteti \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb gj\u00eb e p\u00ebrjetshme, jo nj\u00eb gj\u00eb e fituar q\u00eb vjen papritur. \u00cbsht\u00eb e krahasueshme me orientime t\u00eb tjera seksuale si homoseksualiteti”<\/p>\n
Aseksuale, por ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb romantike<\/p>\n
Por mungesa e d\u00ebshir\u00ebs t\u00eb b\u00ebsh seks nuk do t\u00eb thot\u00eb q\u00eb njer\u00ebzit aseksual\u00eb n\u00eb p\u00ebrgjith\u00ebsi nuk hyjn\u00eb n\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnie romantike. Akaya ka gjasht\u00eb muaj q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb me shoqen e saj Merle, sot do t\u00eb takohen p\u00ebr t\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb kostume. Duke qeshur, t\u00eb dyja ulen n\u00eb tavolin\u00ebn e dhom\u00ebs s\u00eb ndenjes, presin p\u00eblhura dhe shk\u00ebmbejn\u00eb shikime dashurie. T\u00eb dyja jan\u00eb aseksuale dhe jan\u00eb njohur n\u00eb nj\u00eb aplikacion takimesh. Ato nuk b\u00ebjn\u00eb seks, por puthen dhe p\u00ebrqafohen.<\/p>\n
Nj\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnie nuk ka nevoj\u00eb p\u00ebr seks, shpjegon Akaya. “Ju mund t\u00eb kaloni koh\u00eb s\u00eb bashku n\u00eb m\u00ebnyra t\u00eb tjera duke krijuar intimitetin tuaj.” Gjetja e nj\u00eb partneri aseksual ishte e r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme p\u00ebr t\u00eb dyja. “N\u00ebse do t\u00eb kishte qen\u00eb dikush q\u00eb nuk ishte aseksual, do t\u00eb m\u00eb duhej t’i k\u00ebrkoja personit t\u00eb abstenonte. Dhe kjo thjesht nuk m\u00eb p\u00eblqen,” thot\u00eb Merle. T\u00eb dyja e kishin t\u00eb qart\u00eb q\u00eb n\u00eb fillim se nuk do t\u00eb b\u00ebnin seks, se mjafton mbajtja p\u00ebr dore dhe p\u00ebrqafimi. Ato e diskutojn\u00eb rregullisht k\u00ebt\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnie t\u00eb tyre.<\/p>\n
Nd\u00ebrsa shumica e njer\u00ebzve aseksual\u00eb nuk duan marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnie, ka prej tyre q\u00eb b\u00ebjn\u00eb edhe seks. Shum\u00eb e b\u00ebjn\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb nga d\u00ebshira p\u00ebr t\u00eb pasur f\u00ebmij\u00eb, ose nga dashuria p\u00ebr partnerin, n\u00ebse personi tjet\u00ebr \u00ebsht\u00eb i interesuar p\u00ebr seks, shpjegon Johannes Fu\u00df. M\u00eb pas seksi b\u00ebhet dhurat\u00eb p\u00ebr partnerin, sepse “shum\u00eb njer\u00ebz aseksual\u00eb kan\u00eb ndjenja romantike\u201d, shton ai.<\/p>\n
Stigmatizimi dhe paragjykimi
\nShkojm\u00eb nga Reeperbahn n\u00eb apartamentin e Lennartit n\u00eb Hamburg Altona. Librat jan\u00eb grumbulluar n\u00eb dhom\u00ebn e tij t\u00eb ndenjes, shum\u00eb prej tyre kan\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebjn\u00eb me aseksualitetin. Ai e ka pranuar hapur k\u00ebt\u00eb identitet prej kat\u00ebr vitesh dhe flet p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb edhe me t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt. Ai shpesh merr k\u00ebshilla t\u00eb pak\u00ebrkuara si: ‘A keni menduar ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb t\u00eb kontrolloni nivelet e hormoneve?’, ‘Ndoshta ju ka ndodhur di\u00e7ka e keqe dhe e keni ndrydhur at\u00eb.’ ose ‘Ju duhet t\u00eb k\u00ebrkoni terapi ose mjekim’. Lennartit nuk i p\u00eblqejn\u00eb k\u00ebto p\u00ebrvoja.<\/p>\n
Terapia p\u00ebr personat aseksual\u00eb nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb e nevojshme, thekson specialisti i psikiatris\u00eb dhe psikoterapis\u00eb Johannes Fuss. “Pika thelb\u00ebsore \u00ebsht\u00eb presioni psikologjik. Aseksual\u00ebt nuk vuajn\u00eb nga orientimi i tyre, nuk u mungon asgj\u00eb”. Prandaj, trajtimi me ila\u00e7e nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb i nevojsh\u00ebm. Shoq\u00ebria duhet t\u00eb trajtohet me\u00a0edukim. “Disa njer\u00ebz duan seks \u00e7do dit\u00eb, t\u00eb tjer\u00eb vet\u00ebm nj\u00eb her\u00eb n\u00eb muaj ose aspak. Kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb pjes\u00eb e spektrit,\u00a0\u00ebsht\u00eb normale dhe e sh\u00ebndetshme.”<\/p>\n
Akaya dhe Lennart jetojn\u00eb mir\u00eb me aseksualitetin e tyre. “Meqen\u00ebse nuk kam b\u00ebr\u00eb m\u00eb seks, nuk kam pasur m\u00eb probleme t\u00eb p\u00ebrditshme. Nuk kam m\u00eb nevoj\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebj dush vazhdimisht ose t\u00eb nd\u00ebrroj gj\u00ebrat n\u00eb krevat, kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb praktike”, thot\u00eb Lennart duke qeshur. Ata e pranojn\u00eb veten ashtu si\u00e7 jan\u00eb, tani duan q\u00eb edhe shoq\u00ebria t’i pranoj\u00eb si t\u00eb till\u00eb.DW<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
‘Ke nevoj\u00eb p\u00ebr mjekim dhe terapi!’ Njer\u00ebzit aseksual\u00eb jan\u00eb ende subjekt i paragjykimeve. Lennart dhe Akaya po ndjekin rrug\u00ebn e tyre. Lennart ec\u00ebn n\u00ebp\u00ebr Reeperbahn t\u00eb Hamburgut, nj\u00eb rrug\u00eb p\u00ebr festime. Rreth tij: dyqane seksi, kinema pornografike, sht\u00ebpi publike. P\u00ebrgjat\u00eb rrug\u00ebs ai shikon gjinj t\u00eb m\u00ebdhenj dhe t\u00eb pasme t\u00eb sh\u00ebndosha. Por 38-vje\u00e7arit me syze […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":19084,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[107],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-19083","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-kuriozitete"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/neutrale.al\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19083","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/neutrale.al\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/neutrale.al\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neutrale.al\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neutrale.al\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19083"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/neutrale.al\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19083\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":19085,"href":"https:\/\/neutrale.al\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19083\/revisions\/19085"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neutrale.al\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/19084"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/neutrale.al\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19083"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neutrale.al\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19083"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neutrale.al\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19083"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}